From darkness to the light.

© Danielle Santos ~ Life coach, life experiences self Empowerment

Not everyone’s journey through the darkness is the same but, for myself it was losing everything behind the wrong man.

Seven years ago I felt I was on top of the world. I was a single parent of two boys, living in a six bedroom home, my work life was great with great people in my life. I thought it couldn’t get any better then that, but then I met this man, we became good friends and told each other everything. He seemed so great with a beautiful heart, until…….. Yup you guessed it? We started dating.

One day approximately three weeks after we started dating, I was at work. He calls me during my lunch break and informs me that he has moved some of his stuff into my house. I was baffled and completely saying to myself WTF!!! Who does that? A huge red flag I definitely ignored. I remembered saying to him omg we never talked about this or even asked my boys if they would be ok with this, but still I let it slide. Immediately upon him moving in he took control of everything in my household. My children, me, cooking, everything. I know I say it to myself now that I gave him that control, but when I was put in this situation I felt weak and afraid to speak up and use my voice. Because I did not use my voice and took a stand he felt he had the power. The power over me, my home and my children. That’s when the fun began, he started verbally abusing each and every one of us, it got to the point he was begining to put his hands on me. Now I would fight back hell yeah there was no way I was allowing anyone to put their hands on me but still I wouldn’t let him go, it was like he had a hold on me. After the fights he would come to me and apologize with his famous words ” Im sorry baby. I love you and I need you! ” And just like that I would forgive him. Three months in the cops were called to my house twice creating a scene and we had to move out of our home to a two bedroom apartment, lost my car and became completely dependent on his car. He would pick me up from work when the boys were at their dads and take me out for drinks which I must say I paid for. One night we got into yet another fight, and this time put me in the car and took me miles away from home and left me in a mall parking lot it was about 11:30- 12:00 am, I had to call my 70 year old mom to come and get me. Another flag I did nothing about!! I forgave him like always, but this time I had a plan to move in with my mom and leave him. That’s exactly what I did two weeks later, but……. That didn’t last long! Nope I found out I was pregnant with twins, it was like holy hell!!! I remember saying to myself in that moment ” Omg I’m never gonna be able to do this on my own and with two other children”. Needless to say I went back, feeling like a weak incompetent woman. After the twins were born I didn’t go back to work I went back to school instead and took up law, during my outings to school I noticed a lot of strange activity within my home. I started finding other woman’s clothes and little pieces of jewelry in my home. I became very suspicious and started investigating on my own. So one day I decided to leave my phone behind on record underneath my couch and I swear not even five minutes after leaving there was a female in my house, the sad part is it was my upstairs neighbor, who mind you had a man of her own that she lived with. This went on for about one year until I got the nerve up to confront her the unorthodox way. Instead of actually confronting her I did the unthinkable I befriended her, yup that’s right! I did.. I would bring her around him and I just so I could see them both uncomfortable, it was like a thrill for me but it brought with it unbearable sleepless nights of trying to catch them in action, In fact it was complete agony. The fighting got worse both hitting each other to a point where we both started saying one of us are either going to end up in jail or worse dead. That’s when I needed to do some soul searching, I starting reading everything on meditation and empowerment on how to take back my power. And I did just that! I took back my power and got rid of him once and for all, this time for good. The moral is we are only as powerless as we allow ourselves to be. We stay silent because we are afraid, finding yourself, being true to yourself rids you of that fear it brings you to the light and forever no more be silent. ©Danielle SantoSantos

#betrulyyou # self empowerment #speaking up